This world has rules. The biggest one of them being; We are all born with engineered obsolescence. We all have, a shelf life, an expiration date. We are all born to die, to come to an end. We are all meant to wear out and break after a certain time, rather it be by violence, or accident, or disease, or just the wear and tear of time on our bodies and mind. None of us know how much time we have, but at its very best, it’s not much time at all. Find what you love, do what you love. Tomorrow is a day not promised. So you better figure out today, and leave tomorrow for when it happens. For now we are stuck here, so make the best of it. Just make the best of it.
I just want to run, and I want to ride with the wind. Lets see how far I get.
I can honestly say at this point, without any reserve, that I have had my fill of the white, and the cold. I’m good, I have celebrated the winter now let’s move on.
It has occurred to me, that for me at least, tomorrow is the most important part of today. Perhaps that explains why something about Buddhism always felt off to me. Here I am trying to embrace the moment, to live for today, in the present and not worry about tomorrow. The problem is that for me the present is never as good as what I hope tomorrow will be. Even more so, I would say that it is the hope of a better tomorrow that gets me through today, a better future that helps me get through the present. That’s not to say I don’t have great moments where I’m fully committed and completely enjoying myself in that moment. But when that moment is over, I once more look forward to the next. When I do well I celebrate, but I would be remiss if I thought I couldn’t do better next time. If I reach a point where I think it can’t get any better, then I need to find something new. It’s not being satisfied, all the while thinking that there is something better around the corner, that makes me want to keep on living. In the end isn’t that what Nirvana is? Isn’t that the concept of heaven; the thought that there is something more to all this, what ever this might be? If you take hope away, take away the drive for excellence, The hope of getting close to perfection, what you are left with, is a “poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and is heard no more, having told a tale full of sound and fury signifying nothing.” So it is without shame or embarrassment that I say, I will not live for today. I will live for tomorrow and God help me if I ever get there. Fortunately tomorrow is always a day away and just out of reach, tempting me forevermore to keep going. Tomorrow will always be there for me to race after with all I have. I will never stop chasing it, it is everything I want. Without a better tomorrow, today makes no sense.
From this point on I will only post photos from runs or rides that are significant.
A few days ago I did an experiment. I video taped myself on the treadmill; see above picture. I first ran with my best chi running/pose running/barefoot running gate in my Vibrame five fingers and then I ran with my worst just let it all hang out heel strike if you want gate. I then repeated this with more normal, albeit minimalist running shoes. First I was shocked to find there was very little difference between my chi running gate and my let it all hang out gate and very little difference between how I ran in the Vibrames and in the regular running shoes. In all cases I just couldn’t stop my legs from extending out in front of me and sometimes even locking out straight, before landing. This was a shock because it really felt like I wasn’t doing that when in my barefoot running gate. I also noticed that my running mechanics are horrible. Not only are my legs extending out in front of me, but my left foot does tend to land more at an angle and towards the back of my foot, confirming the wear on the outside of the heel of my left shoe being much greater than my right shoe. Also my feet are landing toes out instead of in a straight line. These are all things that I have tried to correct and thought I had done. It is plainly obvious at this point that my body wants to run a certain way and to hell with what I might think. At this point what I would say to Christopher McDougall is if we are all born to run, we are not all born to run as fast or as far as everyone else. It’s possible that I have taken my running as far as I can given my natural running style which I see now is not so good. Maybe I’ll not be able to run another marathon, but at least I did one and in well under 4 hours with a time of 3:45. So I accomplished my goal and I’m proud of that. I am no longer going to try and change the way my body wants to run. I will let it run like it wants and the best that I can do will be the best that I do, what ever that ends up being. At least I know I can run some, and I’ll take it.